Showing 1–20 of 72 results

  • 30 Day Diet

    $20.00 – $100.00

    I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days.

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  • Addicted To Love

    $20.00 – $100.00

    So your patient is suing you because he’s become addicted to love under your care. How much 80’s music do you play in your office?

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  • Alien Insurance

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Oh, God, aliens abducted me and now they’re gonna perform all manner of hideous experiments on me!

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  • Alien Pests

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Your mouse problem’s a bit bigger than I first suspected…

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  • Bad Habits Patient

    $20.00 – $100.00

    If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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  • Bad Prognosis

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Quit being around the bush and just tell me how bad it is, doc!!!

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  • Biotic Battle

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

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  • Bipolar Treatment

    $20.00 – $100.00

    That doctor is an idiot and I’m getting nothing out of these visits! Look forward to coming back next week!

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  • Blind Foresight

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Your hindsight is 20/20, but your foresight is legally blind.

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  • Boundaries Doctor

    $20.00 – $100.00

    … Oh no, you’re thinking of doctors without borders. I’m with doctors without boundaries.

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  • Breaking The Bad News

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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  • Cat X-Ray Update

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I think we need to do some updated x-rays – these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.”

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  • Caught Something Nasty

    $20.00 – $100.00

    A doctor says to his patient who is holding something in a catcher’s mitt, “Looks like you caught something nasty there.”

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  • Chest Hair Transplant

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.

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  • Cloudy Images

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Boy, these images look awful cloudy!

    Ugh! Moving all our data to the cloud was a smart move, but I’ve had to hear that stupid pun all week!

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  • Conjoined Magic

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Sure, we saved a lot of money, but in hindsight we probably should’ve seen the surgeon instead of the magician.

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  • Conjoined Twins

    $20.00 – $100.00

    You mean we’ve been conjoined twins all these years for nothing?

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  • Cough Syrup

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Cough! Cough! Cough!

    Cough! Cough!

    Where cough syrup comes from.

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  • Death Check In

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Lakeville Medical Center.  Check In.  Cash and all major credit cards accepted.  Or save your money and check out.

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  • Diabetic Poppins

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Mary Poppins singing, ‘A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…‘ to diabetic children.

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