• 30 Day Diet

    30 Day Diet

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days.

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  • 6 Millisecond Abs

    6 Millisecond Abs

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Okay, ready to begin the workout? And…Finished. Good Job!Ā  6 Millisecond Abs

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  • 666 Scalp

    666 Scalp

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    What’s this mark on your scalp…666?… There’s always something you don’t want to find out about yourself.

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  • Bad Habits Patient

    Bad Habits Patient

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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  • Bad Virus

    Bad Virus

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    OOOH…I don’t feel so good… Ā Bad virus, BAD!

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  • Beer Shoulder

    Beer Shoulder

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Instead of a beer belly, Tom had a beer shoulder.

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  • Breakout

    Breakout

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Man, I need to cut back on that chocolate…my face is really breaking out! Meanwhile…Geez, I need to cut back on that vanilla!

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  • Breathers Anonymous

    Breathers Anonymous

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Breath Aholics Anonymous – Hi, my name is Glen, and I’ve been clean and sober for over one minute.

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  • Bulimic Ant

    Bulimic Ant

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up in a minute…Ā  Alford the bulimic picnic ant.

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  • Butt Smoking

    Butt Smoking

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Although Jim quit smoking years ago his ass still enjoyed lighting one up on occasion.

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  • Couchaholic

    Couchaholic

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    I am not lazy, I have a disease. It’s called couchaholism.

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  • Crystal Ball Smartwatch

    Crystal Ball Smartwatch

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    “I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches!”

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  • Curly

    Curly

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Say, why do they call you curly again?

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  • E Cig Roller

    E Cig Roller

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    I roll my own e-cigarettes.

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  • Hole Foods

    Hole Foods

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Pete’s Whole Foods ” Good For You!” Danny’s Hole Foods “Donuts Baked Fresh Daily”

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  • Inactive Volcano

    Inactive Volcano

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    No need to worry about the volcano it’s not very active.

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  • Nevermore

    Nevermore

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    The raven from Edgar Allan Poe’s famous story, swears off smoking with “nevermore.”

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  • Next Wise Man

    Next Wise Man

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Next wise man please.

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  • Patch Smoker

    Patch Smoker

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    I don’t think you’re supposed to roll them upĀ  and smoke them…

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  • Pestered Guru

    Pestered Guru

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Mr. wise sage–what words of wisdom can you give me? No matter where you go, people somehow find you.

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