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Adapt A Highway
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Adapt A Highway sign, sponsored by the Screenwriter’s Guild.

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Bend Before Breaking News
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
A cartoon featuring a newscaster reading the news and telling viewers, “Tune in every day for the latest breaking news, and download our app to see the news as it bends before it breaks.”

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Cue Card Holder Auditions
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Cue-card holder auditions

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Cue Card Holders Strike
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
In our top story tonight, the cue-card holders union will remain on strike …

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Dark Fear
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Today our special guest is Pamela, who will be telling us what it’s like to have an extreme fear of being in the dark. To protect her identity we’ve placed her in a darkened studio…

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Early Second Screening
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Second screening, the early days.

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Emotional Availability
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Sorry we are currently emotionally unavailable. Try again later. Thanks!

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Food Cop
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
No! No! No! That was a typo in the script! It’s supposed to be good cop, bad cop, not food cop, bad cop!!!

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Husband Co-host
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
I don’t care if he takes the pressure off of you when we talk–get rid of the cohost! Zing!

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Infinite TV Watchers
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Men watching each other inside infinite televisions.

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Magnum B.I.
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“Uh oh! They’re bringing in Magnum BI to sort out our bad data!”

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Music Alert
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
As part of a new federal mandate, the emergency broadcast system test is extended to include live concerts. EEEEEEEEEE

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Noah, Animal Hoarder
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Noah, before you leave we’d like to have a word with you!

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Plant Hubby
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
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Psycho News Guy
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

… This breaking news just in: police are on the lookout for a man who just escaped from the mental hospital… They say he’s completely psychotic and dangerous, and he may believe he’s a T.V. news anchor…

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Radio Killer
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

It is only when a long witness comes forward that police learn it was video that killed the radio star.

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Sad Statistics
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
15% of Americans don’t have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don’t even realize it.

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X-Ray Television
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
X-Ray television never quite catches on.

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