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B-Negative Blood
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“The lab results came back … looks like your blood type is B-negative.”

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Bad Habits Patient
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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Bad Prognosis
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Quit being around the bush and just tell me how bad it is, doc!!!

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Breaking The Bad News
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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Double Shrink
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

How frequently are you hallucinating, Mr. Jenkins?

Good afternoon, Mr. Jenkins.

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Fist Bump Doctor
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

I’m fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.

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Hamburger Helper
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Hamburger in therapy with Hamburger Helper.

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Imaginary Haters
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
The imaginary people keep telling me that I’m crazy…

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Lost In The Electronic Shuffle
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Mr. Benton, I’m afraid your electronic health records, got lost in the electronic shuffle.

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Pharmaceutical Charity
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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Placebo Side Effects
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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Politician Truth Yoga
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
No, senator, I’m afraid stretching the truth doesn’t count as yoga.

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Self-Induced Panic
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
So I’m perfectly healthy? That’s good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?

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Sick Health App
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

Looks like your app is a little under the weather. Go home and update it and let’s follow up next week.

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Side Effect Voices
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
The voices from my prescription side effects say you should consider lowering the dosage.

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Telemedicine Triumph
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“Man, this telemedicine thing is great– I don’t even have to put my pants on!”

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Xanax Therapy
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
You gotta help me, Doc! I keep seeing palindromes and it freaks me out!!!

I’m gonna prescribe you Xanax.

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