medicine Archives -

Showing 1–20 of 28 results

30 Day Diet
$20.00 – $100.00
I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days.

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Bad Habits Patient
$20.00 – $100.00
If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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Beer Medicine
$20.00 – $100.00
The specialist gave me this medicine for my hearing loss. He said two drops a day in my beer, but so far I haven’t noticed any improvements.

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Breaking The Bad News
$20.00 – $100.00
Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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Cat X-Ray Update
$20.00 – $100.00
“I think we need to do some updated x-rays – these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.”

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Caught Something Nasty
$20.00 – $100.00
A doctor says to his patient who is holding something in a catcher’s mitt, “Looks like you caught something nasty there.”

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Cough Syrup
$20.00 – $100.00
Cough! Cough! Cough!

Cough! Cough!

Where cough syrup comes from.

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Disco Fever
$20.00 – $100.00
Dr. Elwood prescribes 500mg of dancing for Barry’s disco fever.

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Doctor Handwriting Encryption
$20.00 – $100.00
Don’t worry- Your patients’ electronic records will be safe across your network. I’m using an encryption based on doctor handwriting legibility.

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Explosive Data Security
$20.00 – $100.00
Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files.

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Extra Nipples Side Effects
$20.00 – $100.00
“I’ve heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.”

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Flu Bonanza
$20.00 – $100.00
A doctor says to his patient who has a pig snout, wings, and cow patterns on him, “You’ve managed to catch bird flu, swine flu, and a touch of Mad Cow disease.”

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Hypochondria Health Records
$20.00 – $100.00
Sorry I’m late, I had to retrieve your health records.

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Lost In The Electronic Shuffle
$20.00 – $100.00
Mr. Benton, I’m afraid your electronic health records, got lost in the electronic shuffle.

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Medical Privacy Publicity
$20.00 – $100.00
I appreciate how you’ve protected my privacy, Doc. I’m gonna tell everybody about it on my medical rating website!

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MRI Tattoos
$20.00 – $100.00
The MRI machine won’t degrade my tattoos, will it?

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Octopus Ink IV
$20.00 – $100.00
An octopus is hooked up to an ink IV in a hospital bed.

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Pharmaceutical Charity
$20.00 – $100.00
Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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Picasso Plastic Surgery
$20.00 – $100.00

Person with rearranged face walking out of doctor’s office. Sign above reads: Picasso Plastic Surgery.

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Placebo Side Effects
$20.00 – $100.00
“I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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