healthcare Archives -

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Bad Habits Patient
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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Breaking The Bad News
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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Explosive Data Security
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files.

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Insurance Benefit Friends
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Then I’m gonna take my dirty, hot drug plan and cover you all over with the meds you want… Oh God!!! Friends with insurance benefits.

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Lost In The Electronic Shuffle
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Mr. Benton, I’m afraid your electronic health records, got lost in the electronic shuffle.

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Medical Privacy Publicity
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
I appreciate how you’ve protected my privacy, Doc. I’m gonna tell everybody about it on my medical rating website!

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Missing Eye
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Man with eye patch hangs posters for missing eye.

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MRI Tattoos
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
The MRI machine won’t degrade my tattoos, will it?

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Octopus Ink IV
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
An octopus is hooked up to an ink IV in a hospital bed.

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Pharmaceutical Charity
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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Placebo Side Effects
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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Politician Truth Yoga
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
No, senator, I’m afraid stretching the truth doesn’t count as yoga.

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Prison Healthcare Enrollment
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“No, we don’t need to enroll in health benefits every year, but the prison always makes us do it as part of our punishment.”

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Self-Induced Panic
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
So I’m perfectly healthy? That’s good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?

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Sick Health App
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

Looks like your app is a little under the weather. Go home and update it and let’s follow up next week.

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