parenting Archives -

Showing 1–20 of 23 results

Balloon Tone
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Yeah, whatever mom! Don’t you talk to me in that tone of speech balloon!

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Bed Maker
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
No breakfast until you’re finished making your bed, Joey.

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Canine Kid
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Father is walking his son with a restraining harness and leash while his son pees like a dog on a fire hydrant.

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Dad Competition
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
The competition was fierce this year.

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Deadbeat Highway
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Adopt a highway. This segment sponsored by: Dead-beat dads Assoc.

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Digital Family Time
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
We’ve been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family facebook page.

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Doorstep Baby
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Edith, how many times do we need to go over this? You have the baby first, THEN leave it on a doorstep…

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Dork Outside
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Kids! It’s time to come in, it’s getting dark outside!

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Energy Swap
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Genie, this isn’t what I meant when I wished I had my kids’ energy…

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F Plus
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
My teacher gave me an F+ for failing so spectacularly.

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Family Funding
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
That’s all the money I have in my wallet, so don’t ask for any more!

You gave me a dead moth and a ball of lint.

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Food Inhaler
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
James is having another hunger attack! Quickly, give me his food inhaler!

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Hair Support
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

I thought I gave you money to get your hair cut?

I used it to buy a neck brace instead.

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Heartfelt TED Talk
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
… Well, son, I’m really glad we could have this heart-to-heart TED talk.

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New Contacts
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Sweetie, why are you so sad?

Nobody noticed my new contact lenses at school today.

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Nude Pajama Day
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
This is the third time you’ve called me down here on pajama day, and for the third time I’m here to tell you that this is what my son wears to bed!

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Pantomime Parenting
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

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Single Parent Stalker
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Who is this? Why do you keep calling me? Is that a baby crying?

Jack Vinton, single parent stalker.

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Smoked Baby On Board
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

Baby inhaling second-hand cigarette smoke on board

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Squished Baby
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Well, I don’t see anybody … Must be those darn kids ringing the doorbell and running off again!

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