Showing all 16 results

  • Alien Insurance

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Oh, God, aliens abducted me and now they’re gonna perform all manner of hideous experiments on me!

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  • Alien Pests

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Your mouse problem’s a bit bigger than I first suspected…

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  • B-Negative Blood

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “The lab results came back … looks like your blood type is B-negative.”

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  • Bad Prognosis

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Quit being around the bush and just tell me how bad it is, doc!!!

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  • Breaking The Bad News

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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  • Caught Something Nasty

    $20.00 – $100.00

    A doctor says to his patient who is holding something in a catcher’s mitt, “Looks like you caught something nasty there.”

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  • Extra Nipples Side Effects

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I’ve heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.”

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  • Flu Bonanza

    $20.00 – $100.00

    A doctor says to his patient who has a pig snout, wings, and cow patterns on him, “You’ve managed to catch bird flu, swine flu, and a touch of Mad Cow disease.”

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  • Hypochondria Health Records

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Sorry I’m late, I had to retrieve your health records.

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  • Lost In The Electronic Shuffle

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Mr. Benton, I’m afraid your electronic health records, got lost in the electronic shuffle.

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  • Pharmaceutical Charity

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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  • Placebo Side Effects

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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  • Politician Truth Yoga

    $20.00 – $100.00

    No, senator, I’m afraid stretching the truth doesn’t count as yoga.

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  • Side Effect Voices

    $20.00 – $100.00

    The voices from my prescription side effects say you should consider lowering the dosage.

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  • Toilet Water On The Brain

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Your lab work came back positive for toilet water on the brain.

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  • Voice Mailbox Setup

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “To help with the constant ringing in your ears, I’m prescribing instructions to set up your voice mailbox.”

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