• Non Emergency

    Non Emergency

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Emergency Room

    In case there’s no emergency break glass.

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  • Octopus Ink IV

    Octopus Ink IV

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    An octopus is hooked up to an ink IV in a hospital bed.

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  • Old Equipment

    Old Equipment

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

     

    No, Mr. Simmons, your MRI images aren’t in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.

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  • Pant Sag Lab

    Pant Sag Lab

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Your son’s lab work came back and all of his numbers are in range, except for his pants, which are a bit low.

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  • Pharmaceutical Charity

    Pharmaceutical Charity

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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  • Photobombed X-rays

    Photobombed X-rays

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Somehow you got photobombed during your x-rays!

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  • Piggy Bank IV

    Piggy Bank IV

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Piggy Bank IV

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  • Placebo Side Effects

    Placebo Side Effects

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    “I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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  • Politician Truth Yoga

    Politician Truth Yoga

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    No, senator, I’m afraid stretching the truth doesn’t count as yoga.

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  • Popsicle Doctor

    Popsicle Doctor

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Here’s another popsicle stick for ya, doc.

    Thanks, Earl.

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  • Prison Healthcare Enrollment

    Prison Healthcare Enrollment

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    “No, we don’t need to enroll in health benefits every year, but the prison always makes us do it as part of our punishment.”

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  • Radiology Robot Lawsuit

    Radiology Robot Lawsuit

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    When handing radiology over to artificial intelligence sounds appealing.

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  • Schizophrenic Doctor

    Schizophrenic Doctor

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Wow, three opinions for the price of one- what a bargain!

    Erwin Swanson, schizophrenic doctor.

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  • Second Aid

    Second Aid

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    The first aid team has the day off.

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  • Secondhand Smoking Section

    Secondhand Smoking Section

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Welcome to The Funky Fox restaurant. Please seat yourself.

    Smoking section

    Second-hand smoking section

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  • Self-Induced Panic

    Self-Induced Panic

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    So I’m perfectly healthy? That’s good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?

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  • Sick Health App

    Sick Health App

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

     

    Looks like your app is a little under the weather. Go home and update it and let’s follow up next week.

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  • Side Effect Voices

    Side Effect Voices

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    The voices from my prescription side effects say you should consider lowering the dosage.

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  • Sideburn Treatment Center

    Sideburn Treatment Center

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

     

    Victim has third-degree coverage across 46% of his face! we need to get him to the trauma center, stat!

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