x-mas Archives -

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Beardless Santa
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Beardless Santa with Sign: Visit Santa Today, 1-5 pm, sponsored by Acme Razor Co.

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Behavioral Tracking Christmas
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
“Sorry, Tyler, but based on your behavior so far, there’s a 63.7% chance you’ll get coal for Christmas … ”

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

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Chimney Lube
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Santa has a giant tube of chimney lube in his sleigh.

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Eggnostic
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
I think we should recognize the real reason for the season.

I don’t know … I’m more of an eggnostic.

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Mutation Donation
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

Please donate to the genetic mutation research institute.

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Pirate Stockings
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Barnacle Bart, Steve The Pirate, Red Beard, Captain Peg Leg.

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Santa Court
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Santa Claus and the Jolly Green Giant go to court over the rights to “Ho-Ho-Ho.”

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Santa Data
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Cartoon showing Santa sitting at his desk with two computer monitors, one says ‘naughty data,’ and the other says ‘nice data.’

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Santa Luggage
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Luggage pick up gate 16.

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Santa Outsourcing
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Hey what are you hiding behind your back, Santa? Were you speaking chinese? Santa’s plan to relocate operations overseas are uncovered by the elves.

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Santa Phone
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Claus on the santa phone.

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Santa Servers
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center. Naughty and nice servers. Santa takes full advantage of his north pole headquarters.

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Santa Sled
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Santa parks his sleigh on the rough side of town.

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Santa Therapy
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
After you’re done telling me what you want for christmas, why don’t you lie down over there and tell me why you think you need all those things. Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

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Santa Yoga
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Santa! What brings you into our yoga class?

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Snow Dome
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Northstar SNOW DOME manufacturing, inc. Scratch, scratch, scratch…

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Snowman Beggar
Price range: $20.00 through $100.00
Please give.

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