• Canine Kid

    Canine Kid

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Father is walking his son with a restraining harness and leash while his son pees like a dog on a fire hydrant.

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  • Contortionist Funeral

    Contortionist Funeral

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    We gather here today in memory of Frank, beloved husband, father, friend, and contortionist…

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  • Energy Swap

    Energy Swap

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    Genie, this isn’t what I meant when I wished I had my kids’ energy…

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  • Family Funding

    Family Funding

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    That’s all the money I have in my wallet, so don’t ask for any more!

    You gave me a dead moth and a ball of lint.

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  • Heartfelt TED Talk

    Heartfelt TED Talk

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    … Well, son, I’m really glad we could have this heart-to-heart TED talk.

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  • Pantomime Parenting

    Pantomime Parenting

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

     

    Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

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  • Unfit Parents

    Unfit Parents

    Price range: $20.00 through $100.00

    What do you mean we can’t have custody of the children?…

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